How I Socialized My Cat Rambo and Gained His Trust

Whenever I write about Rambo, people very often ask me how I managed to socialize him and how they can socialize a cat they rescued from the street. That's why I decided to write this text based exclusively on my own experience with Rambo, as well as working with many other street cats. To make the socialization process more understandable, I will tell you Rambo's story from the very beginning. What I find interesting in this whole process is that we ourselves can find ourselves in their stories and sometimes connect their experiences and traumas with ours. And before that, something general about cats.

First of all, I must emphasize that I am exclusively sharing my own experience working with many cats I have taken from the streets. First, it is important to understand that not all cats are the same, and what works for one or more cats does not necessarily mean it will work for others.

When we catch cats for sterilization/neutering, we often encounter "wild" cats that can only be caught with a trap. These are cats that were born and raised outdoors, and there's nothing you can do about that, nor should you. Trapping such cats indoors and forcing contact is torture and makes no sense, but I believe any reasonable person wouldn't even attempt such a thing. However, it has happened, for example, that we catch "wild" mother cats and kittens. What then? If the kittens were old enough to be without their mother, I would return the mother cat to her location after recovery and continue to care for her by feeding and visiting her, and I would try to socialize the kittens. From personal experience, especially smaller kittens would always be successfully socialized, and I would keep them to find them an adequate home so they wouldn't grow up on the streets. But sometimes there were exceptions - those who were naturally shy and never got used to being touched, but adapted perfectly to being indoors and with other cats. We kept such cats ourselves because they remained unadoptable as such, but they are wonderful. These are not aggressive cats, but simply shy ones. Some of them, like our Luna, love being indoors with outdoor access, so we provided her with such a life because she wasn't happy indoors.

It is important to feel what individually suits a cat so that it does not live in frustration.

When it came to adult wild kittens, I wouldn't force socialization, but continued to care for them at their feeding stations. It is important to be realistic and understand that we cannot and should not tame and "save" all cats. When cats are in a safe location/feeding station and are of such a nature, it is quite enough to leave them water, food, and set up shelters for them so they have somewhere to hide when it's cold. If such cats ever needed veterinary help, I would catch them again with a trap and take them to the vet, where the only solution is to sedate them to help them.

Cats often end up on the street when owners abandon them, and then they react differently. Some would immediately come to us, while others would panic and hide when we arrived, but I would see fear of the unknown in their eyes and knew they would be okay once they felt warmth and security. Generally, all the cats we care for had such a fate. Just as there are advocates for all cats being indoor cats for safety, there are also advocates for the idea that all cats are unhappy indoors and should live outside. Personally, I don't like either of these extreme views because I believe they are not realistic, given that (again, I repeat) not every cat is the same.

Personally, I prefer that an animal is an indoor pet for several reasons, but - I will never force it to do something it doesn't want to do and be unhappy.

When we take an animal from the street, we automatically bring it inside - first we isolate it from everyone until it is examined by a vet, treated if necessary, and then vaccinated against infectious diseases, and cleaned of internal and external parasites. During this period, we monitor the animal's behavior. Most accept life indoors perfectly and do not seek to go outside. However, there have been situations where they would start protesting by urinating outside the litter box or protesting in other ways, and in the end you just feel that they are not happy indoors. We allowed such cats to go out into the yard after socialization and gradual acclimatization to the outside world.

Regarding urinating outside the litter box, it is important to note that they often do this if there is a health problem - urinary tract infections, struvite crystals in the urine, and many others. Cats will often let you know that something is bothering them in this way.

If we're talking about Rambo, he's a cat who obviously once had a family and contact with people, so he's not a "wild" street cat who doesn't know human touch. Rambo was abandoned on our street in 2017, and he'd run up to everyone, eager for attention and petting. When I first saw him, I thought he was someone's cat from the neighborhood because he came from a yard, but a few days later, a neighbor told me there was a sick cat at her house with diarrhea and a cold. She let him into the building's entrance hall to warm up, but the neighbors weren't thrilled and would chase him out. I decided to go get him that evening, but when I arrived, he was nowhere to be found. My neighbor and I searched the neighborhood for a long time, calling for him, but he didn't appear. I had a bad feeling that someone had driven him further away, and later it turned out that was indeed the case. We found out that a neighbor had put him in a box and taken him, as he told other neighbors, "where there are cats." He absolutely refused to say where, but by some logic, I assumed he hadn't driven too far, but rather left him within a closer radius, just far enough that he wouldn't know how to return to him.

I can't imagine how difficult and traumatic it must have been for him, after his people abandoned him, to then be taken again, and while sick, to another unknown location in the middle of winter. I searched for him for days, and those days turned into months. I regularly visited all the known places where cats gather and are fed, but there was no trace of him. And then, one day, six months later, I got a feeling that I just had to go for a walk. I was studying for some exams then and under pressure, and the situation with Rambo was also bothering me. I got ready and left, and decided to take pictures of the cats at one location for sterilization and feed them along the way. It was exactly March 5, 2018, when there was a snowstorm, but the feeling that I had to go was stronger than anything.

When I arrived at that location, a tabby cat was walking through the snow, and I immediately photographed him. What was strange to me was that he didn't run away (because there were only wild cats there); instead, he stopped, turned, and looked at me sadly. He could barely walk through the snow, and his eyes were so closed from a cold that I initially thought he was blind. When I got closer, I saw that ear (the notch on one ear he always had, and the other is a mark after neutering), and when he meowed, I knew it was him.

I didn't have a carrier and I came on foot, and no one answered my phone or could come with a carrier. I left him some food and thought to myself: "Please stay here!" I had no other choice but to trust that he would and risk running home for the carrier. When I returned, he was there, as if he knew and understood everything. He sat calmly on an old office chair.

When Rambo finally came to me, he was very depressed and mostly looked at the floor. But that wasn't so unusual for me, and I thought he would recover quickly.

Rambo accepted all my cats in the apartment, and there was no aggression because he felt that he had come to their territory, so there was a certain respect on his part towards them. However, when I brought another cat from the street, he then considered that a stranger had come to his territory, and suddenly he lunged at her, grabbed her with all his might with his teeth, and started to "slaughter" her – unfortunately, I can't express it more gently. When I tried to separate them, he attacked me as well, hanging onto my arm and sinking his teeth in with all his might.

So many cats have passed through my hands and home, even wild ones, and I thought I had seen enough, so this shocked me. New cats were his trigger, and then I noticed another one – when my cats would start to play and chase each other, he would stand up, full of fear and bristled, as if a street fight was underway and he was about to be attacked, so he had to defend himself.

I realized that street cats had beaten him in the street because he was on their territory, and that's why he learned to position himself and react that way. I realized that he was just afraid and didn't trust people or cats. And that's what we needed to work on – trust.

I didn't see the solution in isolation or punishment, but only in love and warmth because that's what he needed. How did I manage to gain Rambo's trust over time? I started to observe his behavior and recognize when he had a "mad minute" (that's what I called it), which you could clearly see because he would squint his eyes angrily and start wagging his tail specifically. Instead of panicking, scolding him, or locking him in a room, I would grab his favorite pâté.

At that moment, he would forget his initial intention and only focus on the food. While he ate, I would pet and hug him, and he would forget everything he had planned. After that, it was as if he had a kind of smile on his face, and peace would reign. :)

And so, every day the same, and after about six months, Rambo came to my lap by himself for the first time. He snuggled tightly against me, but there was still a slight "cramp" in the style of: "I want to be petted and loved, but I don't trust you enough yet!"

After about two years, Rambo completely stopped attacking other cats. One day he just walked into the room among the three of them who were temporarily fostered with me and just calmly lay down next to everyone. :)

And so Rambo became a "different" cat, one who no longer looks at the floor, but proudly up, and who trusts us.

I would like to emphasize that it is important for us to be relaxed and calm, as animals adapt to our energy. If we are upset and show insecurity and fear, they will behave the same way.

When it comes to leashes, it's important to be careful because some cats don't like them or are afraid of going outside. People often see a video of a cat that adapted wonderfully to a leash and then think their cat will also enjoy walks outside. If you notice that your cat is uncomfortable or does not want to leave the apartment, do not force it. Even if your cat accepts the leash, be careful at first until it relaxes and gets to know the territory so that it doesn't get scared by a sudden sound or person and break free from your hands and run away. I'm also saying this from my own experience with some cats that would be thrilled to go outside, and everything was going great until they heard a motor sound in the distance or something that scared them, and they would start struggling, and I would barely calm them down.

Given Rambo's nature and fears, I knew it would be challenging, but I wanted to give him the opportunity to go out into the yard, at least on a leash, since he showed interest in the outside world that he missed. In the beginning, it looked like I was carrying a carrier with me and leading him with my other hand. Why?

There were situations where Rambo would smell other cats outside or in the grass where he would roll around and suddenly get those "mad minutes" and start struggling to get off the leash. If I tried to hold him and calm him down, he would bite and scratch me, especially if he saw an outdoor cat. Then I had the tactic of opening the carrier, and he would go inside and then observe everything calmly from there.

We did this for a good year until he relaxed, and then the walks became longer and extended beyond the yard, and then we worked on him approaching the yard cats. On a couple of occasions, the clever fellow tried to outsmart me, pretending to be calm, and then suddenly lunging – at that moment, without panic, I would just gently tug the leash to the other side and say, "No, Rambo." And we would continue as if nothing bad or terrible had happened.

Then – a treat. As I mentioned earlier, because it calms him down. And so, the same practice every time until we got to the point where he would pass by the yard cats without needing to react. : )

Cats don't necessarily need to have some trauma to be afraid of car rides and react by urinating or defecating. I've met people who would make a big drama out of it and analyze what's wrong. Nothing special - for most cats, car rides simply aren't pleasant, and that's okay, but they will survive the necessary trips if you're going to the vet and so on. But I personally would never force such cats to travel with us.

On the other hand, some cats tolerate car rides very well, like our Momo. He's traveled with us to the vet or Mali Lošinj; he enjoys it and usually sleeps through the entire trip.

Rambo was afraid of car rides because it probably associated it with events where he was being prepared and taken somewhere. Vet visits were necessary, and only then would he travel when he had to, which would end with him turning around in the carrier and relieving himself.

How did we manage to get Rambo to travel with us?

We didn't really do anything special or force him into anything. I think time played its part here, and his trust in us, because he realized that after every trip somewhere, he would return home - to safety, and that we wouldn't be the ones to leave him somewhere.

Every time we returned home, I had the feeling he thought: "Okay, they didn't leave me. I'm back home," because he would look at you that way and somehow happily run out and start running around the apartment.

How did we decide to travel with him?

Spontaneously - the feeling that he was ready and completely relaxed. This happened after three years spent with us. I would say that only then did he experience complete relaxation and trust in us. Since he took it badly when he was left alone and I left (even though my mother visits them if I'm not there), I thought he would tolerate the trip with me better. In the spring of 2021, we went to Rab and took him and Lisa, just so he would have the company of another relaxed cat to have a positive effect on him.

Indeed, the trip went well, and arriving at the apartment in Rab even better. We thought he would be scared at first, but Rambo was never happier. Again, it was as if you could read something like this on his face: "We've been driving for so long, and now I'm here? I'm safe again." I knew, after this trip, that was it. We would always be able to travel everywhere because he finally trusts us completely.

A year later, we returned to Rab and ventured to take him on a leash to the beach in front of the apartment, and then he joined us on several excursions. One of the excursions was a trip to Mount Kamenjak. We drove to the top, and it took us 15-20 minutes to get there, and up there you can walk around and enjoy the view of the Kvarner islands and Velebit. In the photo, Rambo is at the top of the mountain while we're looking at Velebit.

We also visited Paradise Beach where Rambo strolled carelessly on the beach. I must also mention that we went during the off-season, in May, because otherwise it wouldn't have been possible for Rambo to be so relaxed if there had been people on the beach. :) And we ourselves prefer peace and quiet and no crowds.

If you had asked me two or three years ago or told me that something like this would happen, I would have said - no way!

But it seems patience, trust, and love truly work wonders! :)

And when people ask you, "How did you manage to achieve this?" they usually expect a series of guidelines and rules we followed or some kind of training we used. But absolutely none of that.

Simply just love, understanding, support, patience, and time. Give them as much time as they need.

I should mention that this is our experience and the experience of one cat, Rambo. Be careful with your animals if you take them on a leash or a trip.

Slowly, calmly, patiently, and kindly. :)

Yours,